The other day I introduced an older gentleman and his lovely wife, who were just one table over from us in a local restaurant, to Senior Citizen Journal. His appropriate question was: “Well, what approach do you take?”

While I might have been taken aback, I was quickly aware I was dealing with a very astute contemporary senior observer. Everybody is somewhat suspicious these days. And everybody is met so often with some self serving agenda, that such a question is quite appropriate and well deserved.

As the shopping season rapidly comes to its end, reviewing what we have forgotten becomes a necessary undertaking. So before too many more shopping days disappear, let’s think about what we have forgotten or are forgetting. Here are some that come to mind:

something for our pets; those wonderful crazy creatures that bring us so much daily joy, happiness and pleasure;
something for a neighbor who means so much but we doubt they really know how much;
something for a friend who is ill, struggling with physical difficulties that will impair this year’s Christmas for him/her;
something for that loved one who, because of the threat of aging and the prospect of death, may not be around next year;
something for the people who, while paid to help us, would have a happier Christmas if we found a way to say, ‘Thank You’;

While divorce is not so frequent among seniors, the possibility for separation is. Depending on age and health, the primary contributor to separation as we age is death. When it strikes, considering all the extenuating factors, one is left with a void that is often a major life struggle. Joined with that is the resulting sense of loneliness and heartbreak that comes with it.

At some point in the grief process, one begins to examine the issue of companionship with someone who may help meet the needs that come so dramatically with being alone.

One of the critical factors for anyone, under any circumstance of living, being, or residing alone, even for short periods,

Having a realistic and well defined understanding of mortality does not speed its coming. On the contrary, recognizing the inevitability of our own mortality enables us to open all the doors and windows to living a full life. Denial, it has been said, is not a river in Egypt. Having a healthy perspective on my own mortality means that I can embrace life and all its implications, likelihoods, and definites.

When I can say to myself, boldly, without fear, “I am going to die,” I have taken charge of my present. I have also recognized what the future holds. I do not have to dread it, fear it, avoid it, give it any power. It will happen. How? When? Under what circumstances? I can’t know. But I can know that it will come. I do not have to adopt a macabre attitude about it. I do not have to wear it on my sleeve. I don’t have to bring it up with others.

Getting started everyday brings with it its own challenges, demands and the necessity for routine. Having a predictable routine which starts first thing in the morning is one way to keep your body, psyche, spirit, organs, and general disposition in a good place. All of this involves coming up with a pattern that works for you. It will include exercise of some and various kinds, a chance at calming your person through some kind of serene meditation, mine is writing. a chance to cleanse your body and to energize your systems with vitamins and a regimen of medications which address certain medical needs, and it will mean opening your day with a smile, laughter, pleasant comments to your spouse or partner, if any.

Lacking these basics, you may be setting your day up for depression, distress, physical challenges, and a down attitude. Consciously making an effort to put yourself in a good place as you start your day will likely mean that your day will be good, productive, and pleasant.

Where ever the current conflict comes out raging around “where’s the beef,” there will continue to be questions about the products major food firms are shoveling onto styrofoam and paper plates to keep us fed. The new labeling program, introduced by the FDA, is also undergoing criticism. What we need here is more light and less heat. The food products sold to senior citizens today are under increasing suspicion. What is in the food we eat? How does what we eat affect our overall health? Are we being fed too many chemicals and fillers that may make us full, but do not contribute to the nutrition we really need?

Unfortunately, many senior citizens rely on fast food as their primary diet. If that diet has questionable content integrity, what does that do to the overall health of a senior who relies on such fare day after day? I

Lists are a favorite form of writing and an inviting method for reading and remembering. Here is one that struck me as I mulled what to consider next. Here are some insights that may make for improvements as we age.

Insight One: Learn how to be calm, thoughtful, patient and gentle in all your behaviors.

Insight Two: Never allow someone else to get the best of you, to provoke anger, to incite tension in your life.

Insight Three: Don’t give away your power. Kindly, but firmly, allow others to understand that you are in control of your life.

Insight Four: Set aside time for meditation, contemplation, rumination, and wholesome deliberation. Life’s problems will be more easily resolved.

It isn’t they, it is I. That is what all the reflections, inflections, insights, hindsights come down to. The only person over whom I have any ultimate influence and control is myself. Blaming others, accusing the universe, pointing fingers, railing at the body politic does not finally create civility. I do. I am the one who can make a difference in my small corner of this world that begs for people to be kind and generous and caring and loving.

I am the one who needs to take on the responsibility for behaviors that create the difference in an environment of hostility or civility. I am the one who can lift my voice in song or shout out invectives in judgment. I am the one who is called upon to volunteer to be a hero every day, ready for whatever prompting to receive my readiness, my

During the time we lived in Omaha, my career included providing psychotherapy and counseling to couples having difficulty with their relationships. A lot of the focus in therapy was on helping them learn to communicate effectively. That kind of communication had to be based on mutual respect and affirmation for each other. I thought about this as I listened to President Obama’s words last night in Tucson, the memorial service on the University of Arizona campus.

I don’t know why we have such difficulty communicating with each other in this country. Husbands and wives, political opponents, church members, brothers and sisters. Estrangement is common-place. Communication is enabled hundreds of times over via the cell phone and Internet. Yet we cannot seem to talk with each other in civil ways that promote effective and productive relationships.

I don’t have the answers to those issues. But I do have some ideas about how to learn to communicate more effectively.

It is a comfortably warm, bright and sunny January day. A bit ago I walked to the mail box in shirt sleeves and light-weight slacks. Who wouldn’t want to choose this East Texas haven as a place to settle? But there are also days when the temperature is at freezing or below. There are summer days that are plagued with humidity and heat. When my ancestors settled here, I wonder if they knew the extremes that could invade this part of the world?

Settling in the most desirable place in the world requires insight, foresight, hindsight and good sight. No one knows for sure when they put down roots just how it will all work out.

More than a dozen years ago when we retired, we chose to come back to this part of Texas, where my