How many, how frequently, how numerous, how much, how often are the times when seniors deal with officials, professionals, clerks, representatives, assistants are we thrown into a state of total frustration and complete dissatisfaction?

How many calls have been made when attempting to identify an official with appropriate authority to identify some means for addressing an issue related to some business transaction, purchase, agreement or other arrangement caught up in a business deal in which the process went south, was clearly outside the boundaries of mutual understanding and contradictory to any expected outcome?

Much too often does it happen that the client, customer, whatever our label, is left with a legitimate reason for complaint.  Much too frequently are we left with nothing but disappointment and little more than a weak apology. Is it any wonder that when doing business these days with almost any institution or business, we do so with anxiety and the need for ample back up to protect ourselves as we cope with poor products, inefficient service, broken promises, and absolutely no satisfaction.

Customer Service First

Good business is that business that takes into account the customer’s satisfaction first. Good business is having a back up plan so that no incompetence, lack of skill, inability to communicate adequately leaves the customer or client with a sense of abandonment and distrust.

There is no valid reason for any client or customer ever to be left holding the bag, not given the benefit of the doubt, not allowed a sense that his/her complaint has validity.  There is no need for any person, having engaged in a transaction does not end that transaction with a 100%  matter closed with the outcome having been resolved in the behalf of the customer.

If not, then the customer’s position should always revert to an appropriately well mannered response in which the business is properly held to accountability and proof of future reliability.

Several temptations are lately looming up offering beguiling opportunities for seniors, and particularly for me.   Back in my early teens I owned a 1948 Willys Jeepster.  It was yellow, a convertible, stick shift, with all the bells and whistles that made it an enviable and enjoyable toy.  For some reason, now forgotten, I surrendered it and have regretted its loss ever since.

I am now in search of its replacement, an enjoyable undertaking that has sent me looking all over the country to try to find an identical replica.  They are out there and the temptation runs stronger on some days than others.

Toys, pastimes, hobbies, have a way of suggesting that our later life can have some of the thrill of our early life. Memory nudges us to be about identifying some ways to replace our reclaiming our past.  Sometime we succeed.  Sometime we find it to be a futile effort.

Memories Serve to Help Create Fun

Even though age may work against us, we nonetheless seek out those long ago experiences that helped give wonder and fun to our lives. And why not?  There is, as we age, little enough of the surprises and unexpected joys that come our way.

Finding ways to generate good times, recall long ago thrills, experiencing some of the first time satisfactions that gave our days something other than boredom are worthwhile efforts.

Maybe as days seem to fade into months when so much of life’s drudgery repeats itself over and over, we can free ourselves long enough to rediscover as much good times as we can allow ourselves to enjoy.  There is, I suggest, enough of the heaviness of living in these times that letting oneself be freed long enough to laugh and have some really good times and be given top priority.

For those 10,000 persons who are retiring every day, what plans have been set in motion to occupy your time, captivate your interest, steal your enthusiasm, capitalize on your personality?

My wife’s sister was here for a brief visit over the weekend. Over a leisurely lunch, she shared her plans for imminent retirement. She will retire on December 31, which is also the occasion of my birthday.  It pleases me that so many people find occasion to celebrate on my birthday.

She laid out some of her plans and expectations.  She has been appropriately developing plans and giving thought to just how she will invest her passing of days and meeting desires in which she has long held interest.  Pat is a person who plans well, and in a very organized fashion.

I have known people who, upon retirement, have chosen one activity to occupy them. Some people, mostly men, have set out their weekly calendar around a foursome, meeting daily and challenging themselves to improving their game.  Sometimes they do.  Often they don’t.  That’s okay if it is satisfying and entertaining.  Sufficient activity and variety are important to one’s retirement routine.

Retirement Planning

Pat, the sister, informed us that among her definite desires and interests, of longstanding, is to learn to play the harp.  What a remarkable, challenging and provocative goal.  Her determination, brilliance, and desire will all mesh to create an artist.  The satisfaction from her playing will be a gift to us all.

Her second goal is to volunteer for helping in disaster recovery, probably with the Red Cross.  Her background, for the past several decades, has been in hospice work.  She is quite proficient in that role.  It will carry over well in her retirement career.

Doing each of these will expand her mental, emotional and spiritual landscape in retirement.  She will, although she already is, be a delight to share experiences with, to share the adventures and life’s fulfilling challenges as she undertakes these and more.

Good counsel for any who are at the cusp of laying down one’s long term career and picking up a new one or new ones to explore life.  Good wishes, Pat, and may all your energies and interests continue to meet in places that make your life rich and fulfilling.

In this catastrophic financial storm through which so many are passing, one of the growth issues many are experiencing is seniors finding ways to help our children get through the morass.

Many talk of the younger generation, our kids, needing to pay our way when financial stress takes over.  This reality is already real. Many are already having to intervene for them. The financial overload, brought on by joblessness, inability to get through the peril of being without sufficient resources, having to come back home to live is already on the heels of many.

It is a grueling time. It is a time of broken hearts and overwhelming sadness to see that they aren’t experiencing, as we did, the fulfillment of their hopes and dreams. It is a time when having to admit to not moving into the world of self sufficiency haunts by the day. It is a time when head in hands and tears streaming down one’s face, the questions bombard, the anxiety asks:  what can we do. Send money? That is always an option. The problem is it doesn’t relieve the disappointment and the inability to quell the day to day frustrations of not making it on their own.

Omni-Presence May be the Answer

The answer to today’s question, How to help your children get through? is within these four words: BE THERE FOR THEM! Communicate, share the sadness and pain, offer your support constantly, as Whitney Houston sang: “Give them a sense of pride.” Listen. When possible, in person or vicariously, offer them the hugs they need. Talk it out. Lend them whatever advice they request and give you permission to offer. No matter what: do not judge.

The depth of love and deep compassion is what is needed at a time like this. Work it through as partners. Find that this opportunity can bring you closer. If he/she has a question, that is hard to ask and hard to answer, work it through together.Pursue the goal of coming out on the other side with ways to feel better about the situation. No matter what: do not resort to cliches. Give, offer, show genuine deep down caring and be with them, anyway you can.

When the final count is done and the declaration made, will it make any difference who becomes our president? With all the millions being poured into advertising to convince us of the worthiness of one or the other, will all the words, invectives, charges, counter charges and finger-pointing have made any difference at all?

What I’m hearing these days is that with things as bad as they are or seem, after the election, they will be worse, no matter who is elected.  Now, isn’t that a sorry state of affairs? Isn’t it sad that our nation has sunk to such despair and disdain over our political condition, that there is decreasing optimism about the outcome of this election?

The depressed state of the economy isn’t the only factor influencing this condition. The unemployment figures, affecting so many, isn’t the only dynamic setting up this mood.  The Middle East tension and flirtation with more war isn’t alone in bringing us to more and more anxiety. Indeed not.  We are a people on the brink of helping our nation step into the waiting unknown.  We are caught in the throes of a manic-depressive condition leaving us suspicious of everyone and everything.  We are ourselves subject to believing too much that is wrong and having too little confidence that anything is right.  It is not a good time.  It is not even the best of the worst times.  It is a sad time. Does it need to be?  Can something worthy be salvaged from this preponderance of negativism?  Are we in any position to contribute something for our friends and neighbors to take faith in, to find hope that will help?

Optimism is a Choice

Our first conviction needs to be that our vote will matter. Our succeeding commitments should be that our participation and voice and involvement will all lend themselves to convincing ourselves and others that we still matter and our voices can still be heard.  If we surrender to the nay sayers and the down siders and the country dividers, we will lose. But if we stand among and amidst the troubling signs with a hardy readiness to say a loud “no” to those who are pushing for the negative influences to prevail, then we will have a chance to be heard.

I believe we can make a difference.  I believe that difference will be made by such as you and me.  I believe our country can be better.  I believe the outcome in November can be one that will foster new and strong convictions that America can be strong and fair and ready for what is ahead. I believe that you and me and all the others out there who are smarter and quicker than some of our politicians might think can make the one huge difference that declares, “we won’t be tricked by you anymore.”  We will make a difference, no matter how much or how mean the climate may get. WE, together, we, the collective WE, will matter. WE the people are ready to exercise our strength, our readiness no matter what!

There is a commercial which depicts a guy loading a truck while in the process of moving. A neighbor shows up, the guy asks ” you wanna help?” The neighbor’s reply, “no, I’m good.” Not very good, if he can’t volunteer to do some heavy lifting.

We had dinner with friends a while back when the subject of our move was brought up. Without missing a beat, one of the guests said, “I’m great at packing. I’ll help.” And she has every day since beginning this arduous task. She and another friend have been here to do the necessary duty of helping us be ready for the movers.

Now that’s friendship! No one likes to move, it is an exhausting, seemingly never ending undertaking. No one likes to lift and wrap and pack and fit items in boxes until it is all done. But, some really do demonstrate a definition of friendship when they step up to the plate and are there for you and with you.

Bonding Time With Friends

In addition to the much needed assistance has been the satisfaction of shared humor, getting better acquainted, enjoying each others company. There is nothing quite like spending time at a common task to blend a stronger relationship, to bind a camaraderie that is sure and sincere. Its easy to say hello across a fence.  What’s harder is being ready to pick up a task and see it through. Its easy to say hello, but its more difficult to spend hours at helping out a neighbor, when you know they really need it. Friendship’s definition is given real substance when you are there to do, to offer, and to perform.

When it comes to neighboring, it is of more value to be a neighbor than to offer a hollow hello or a wavering wave. No, friendship is seen and done and known when you are there for the other, when you are up to taking on the task, when your offer is sincere and your follow through is definite.

Next time, a neighbor asks if you would like to help, don’t reply with “no, I’m good,” just be genuinely good.

The Internet abounds with lists of deals to avoid, simply because they aren’t ‘deals’.  We senior citizens know what that means.  Someone or some ad suggests you will be getting a good deal or the deal of a lifetime.  Retailers provide only the information they think they need to get your attention, and get you so overwhelmed with the goodness of the deal that you forget to ask the right questions. Kinda like politicians these days.

Let’s take a look at a few:

• All those coupons that fall out of your Sunday paper and come in the mail on Wednesdays are tempting to cut out and hoard.  But buying something with a coupon isn’t a deal unless you need it. So ask the right question first:  Do I need this item?  And be sure to compare the cost of the branded item with the generic one.  Often the branded item with coupon is still more than the generic item. Ask the right question:  Which costs more, branded w/coupon or generic?
• Warehouse membership stores are adult candy stores.  We seniors love to walk around those huge buildings and see all the glitzy-displayed stuff that we would love to have.  And sometimes the jumbo-packed items can really save us serious money.  But the right question is, Can I use this much of this stuff before it goes to waste?
• Because some of us seniors grew up during and after WWII, we have a tendency to be both stingy with our stuff and seriously attracted to a low cost item–whether we need it or not.  An elderly woman bought three identical knit shirts because they were priced very low, put them in her drawer and never wore them.  When her family asked her about them, and why the tags were still on them, she replied that she bought them because they only cost a few dollars each.  She didn’t need them and she never wore them (until her family took the tags off and put them in her closet); she just bought them because they were cheap.  The right question is, Do I need this and will I wear/use it?  It’s only a bargain if you can make use of it.
• Probably the biggest trap for seniors is thinking we can solve problems by avoidance. The old adage, An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, remains true to this day.  Many seniors try to manage repairs in their homes or healthcare issues by ignoring them.  Betting that something won’t get worse, whether it’s a minor problem in your home or a minor health issue, is a very poor choice for senior citizens. Buying a long-term care insurance policy and then refusing to add the cost-of-living rider is a very poor decision.  Long-term care insurance isn’t the bargain it could be with the cost-of-living rider.  Ignoring the constant water-drip from your kitchen faucet raises your water bill.  Not changing the filters on your furnace increases your heating bills.  Prevention is always the wise choice.

These are just some of the bargain-blasters we came up with.  What are yours?