Wish I had Dones: Senior Citizen Musings

May 20th, 2010 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog

There are so many.  Making such a list is probably unwise.  Reflecting very long on such, about which nothing can be done, is really a colossal waste.  It only reminds that there were many times you could have acted differently, chosen more wisely, challenged your sensitivities more bravely.

But now, that time is all gone.  Literally, ALL gone.  There is no retracing of steps except in regret or perhaps joy at having had those moments.  Regret is a wasteful expense of time and emotion and energy.  As one ages, the temptation increases to spend more time looking back.  Some reflection is not so bad.  Too much is debilitating.  Right now, when things seem to be turning so sour, the pull seems stronger.  Weren’t there better times?  Weren’t there moments when just being with someone special was the most rewarding thing in the world.?

Now they are gone.  Both the moments and the person.  And there is no retrieving them.  Investing your now moments into back when memories is often a very depressing way to spend any time at all.  However, when it tempts, the temptations bring with it  difficulty in turning away.

Wish I had dones offer a vast array of excursions into never never lands.  If you make the turn into that wilderness, it may take a while to extricate yourself.  Wish I had dones come at you with such beguiling force and lure.  They are made up of escapes that, by themselves, seem to be so pleasant.  Until you realize that the result is more distressing than enjoyable.

Wish I had dones take you into adventures that didn’t happen, now can’t happen and only cripple spending time more productively by leaving such excursions alone.

Wish I had dones don’t add to nourishing life, they eat away at the life you have already had.  Find ways to do things now that offer joy and satisfaction, fulfillment and enlarged opportunities to be with those you wish you had been able to spend more time with before.

As one finds mobility and limiting health issues creeping into more of daily experience, it is very easy to give in to wish I had dones. But those just make it more likely that there will be less mobility, not more;  less satisfaction in thriving on the time you now have, not more.

Avoid the pull, magnetic as it may be, to allow wish I had dones to dominate and rule your remaining life’s moments.  Avoid living in or attempting to recreate times that you never had nor ever will.  Your mental health will be better for it.  Your satisfaction over finding ways to live fully now will be more richly challenged.  You will be a better person.



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