Seniors: People Who Disappoint Us

Jan 29th, 2010 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog

One of the most troubling of life’s experiences is to run across those persons and occasions that disappoint us.  It is likely an inevitability to meet this unpleasant experience along the way.  Being prepared for it, dealing with it with grace and determining how you will treat the person(s) involved afterward may be considerations to contemplate.

Persons who disappoint us don’t necessarily set out to do so.  Their own insensitivity, their lack of social graces, their inability at self discipline may all contribute to the occasion.  The most sensitive way to manage such moments is to respond with kindness and gentleness.  Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Returning kind with kind is no way to face the person who has disappointed you. 

Escalating the occasion will only exacerbate the difficulty.  Learning how to be graceful in situations in which there is none, is a sure fire way to challenge others to reconsider their own behavior.

Other ways to cope with disappointing people may be:

  • Avoidance: while this may not always be practical, it usually sends a strong signal.
  • Straight Talk: when the disappointment occurs communicate directly how/what has disappointed you and help them understand why such behavior is really uncalled for.
  • Forgiveness: articulate that you and others found a certain behavior disappointing and help them understand that they are above such and forgiveness brings the hope the behavior will not be repeated.
  • Pointing Out: reveal to the individual that a behavior has been hurtful to others.  Perhaps they are or have been totally oblivious to the effect of their words or actions.
  • Modelling: Act out behaviors that demonstrate appropriate behavior.  Perhaps the point will be made and received.  

Of course, if disappointing behavior persists, perhaps all that can be done is to cut off the relationship with an explanation as to why.  If the person misses the point, then it is their loss and you have done all you can do.



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