Seniors: Dealing with Disappointment Productively

Dec 9th, 2009 | By | Category: Senior Moments Blog

Plans are like pie crusts, made to be broken.  Many of our plans seem to crumble before our eyes.  The time and work required to develop those plans, create time lines and expectations and hopes around them, refining them into the things of reality sometime are greeted with crashing disappointment.  They dissolve before our eyes.  Our hopes and dreams are dashed against the reality of the Big NO.  It isn’t going to happen.  No matter how hard you have tried to get to your goal, all the opposing impediments block and deter us.

It is then when the huge temptation to just give up takes over.  It is then that just throwing up one’s hands and putting your face in your crying towel becomes the only logical option.

Surrendering to disappointment is not a solution for dealing with disappointment.  Navigating through the shoals of disappointment is.  Deciding to steer your craft to avoid the rocks and cascading waves in your way is the first means for taking charge.  Let”s see if we can’t throw up some buoys that help guide us through those treacherous waters back to shore.

Disappointments often rise up when least or not expected at all.   Preparation and anticipation are the means for being equipped to try to steer around them.  Most plans, most expectations are always subject to detours, surprises and large uh ohs!  This is when having assessed the situation going in, some kind of Plan B, Alternative Route, is a good idea.

Often much of an original plan will have checked off the items that would create blockages to your arriving to your destination.  However, check for weaknesses, fallibilities, hidden dangers.  Reducing the potential for disappointment will save time and head off distress later.

Rely on the counsel, experience and wisdom of others.  Most of us have confidants in our entourage who will be able to be productively, objectively, and rationally helpful in laying out ways to head off disappointment.  The “if only I had” syndrome comes too little and too late to be helpful.  Be bold in securing the insights of others. 

An example these days for applying such as we are discussing would be making or considering making a financial investment or adjustment in your portfolio.  Doing so without the guidance of others could be catastrophic.  Recognizing that the outcome may still go south will be a part of your own awareness.  However, floating out there without any form of life belt could be fatal.

Whatever your course, be sure you have checked the readings, the weather, the up and down side for proceeding with your plan.  At all costs, avoid disappointment where possible.  And, when/if it comes, deal with it with mature emotional judgment, ready to take on life’s next challenge with the knowledge gained from your last voyage.

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