SENIORS BACKING OUT OF BAD CHOICESMay 22nd, 2012 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Dr Jerry Elrod's Senior Moments Blog
The Nature of Choices
What if you have made a very bad choice, really bad, that you would like to reverse, can you? And, if so, how?
Of course, there are some choices, more in the category of decisions, that carry with them great difficulty in changing or eliminating. These are usually identified as legal and are often protected by documents that require your signature, perhaps a notary, and carry legal ramifications. The best advice regarding these is to think twice or more and delay until you are unquestionably ready to launch into that agreement.
Now, for the others, the ones that we could have avoided had we reflected on their implications longer. These may also carry some legal ramifications, but often are more in the emotional or impulsive category. These prompt questions, after the fact, like: ”why in the hell did I do that?” Having done it, however, the train is already on the track and has left the station. It is then that working through the consequences of your choice must begin.
Sometimes, such choices are quite irreversible. They carry with them agreements that involve other people, their feelings and their having had to make a choice too. These situations aren’t as simple, though they may be, as buying a used car and shaking hands on the deal. Usually they are more complex, involving emotional dynamics and hard and fast conclusions. They can involve things like: committing to a partnership of varied kinds and conditions, e.g. getting involved romantically; agreeing to live together; choosing to buy something, of considerable cost: taking a trip together; going into business together; or doing anything that commits two or more persons mutually.
It is these decisions that introduce complexity and the need for lots of before hand deliberation. Without that, the warning signs will be all the more critical. Detour, Road Closed, Bridge Out and other warnings need to be observed with great care. No after the fact wailing and gnashing of teeth can offer the satisfaction desired. It is the prior considerations that will contribute more to wisdom and care that will matter.
Trust is, of course, a great factor in choosing to enter into any kind of agreement. That is normally predicated on experience and intuition and a good feeling about the arrangement and the other person. But, being alert to your own feelings, your own intuition, your own feelings will and can make for a huge difference in coming down to the final declaration.
The primary dynamics that contribute to making a choice, and having it work out, may not be obvious. Risk is involved in all choices we make, all agreements we become a part of. That factor alone must loom large as we contemplate and consider any decision. If we are not prepared for a choice to go south, we had better reconsider it altogether. If its ramifications carry too much risk, of any kind, the best counsel is to walk away from it. Emotionally and every other way, you will likely be much better off.