Seniors: Avoiding Judgmental Persons

Aug 2nd, 2011 | By | Category: Senior Moments Blog

Do you know anybody who seems to start off finding ways to be judgmental of you and others in their presence?  Oh, it isn’t always direct and pointed, it may be subtle and sinister.  It may come forth by insidious methods, making slights into attacks, choosing subjects that are a put down, dwelling on matters that insult and injure.

Not a lot of fun to share time and occasion with people like this.  They are invested in their points of view, to the point, that sharpening the message becomes their constant toil.  They can slip into a subject, before you know it, slide the knife in almost without your feeling it, at first. They can put you down and leave you there, as they walk away with smug self satisfaction that they have won.  “Won?”  Won, what?  They have made you, they think and if you let them, feel belittled.  They have offered you the chance to be the put down person of the day.  They have demonstrated that they know best what is worst about you.  And they do not hesitate to bring it to your attention.

Not a person one wishes to give much time or attention to.  So why do we?  The best control over situations and circumstances that seem to do us injury is to be in charge of ourselves.  It is ours to stand our own ground, without exercising obnoxious behavior, but by diverting the subject,  excusing your presence, allowing for a more commodious moment to emerge, demonstrating that you are able to withstand the darts.

Next, when someone attempts to attack, find ways to shield yourself from whatever disparagement may be directed your way.  Find ways to defend your own ground.  Find ways to stand in your place, not giving in to the absurdities of another’s impolite, rude and often vicious conduct.  Protect yourself with grace. Put on the whole armor of patience.  Withstand the darts.

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