SENIOR COUPLES SPEND TIME APART

Jun 21st, 2013 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog

Short Separations are Healthy

This column today argues that periodic times away from one another contributes to a healthier senior relationship. If you already have a formula that works, move on to another column that may better address your needs.  If, however, tensions are on the rise between you and your partner, it may be time for a respite.

To do so, here are some considerations that may help in coming to that conclusion.

  • Discuss candidly, openly and non defensively what present dynamics between you may argue for some time apart.  This only means, a vacation, a few days away of one or the other.  It has nothing to do with separation, long term or permanent.
  • Assuming your relationship is strong enough to objectively evaluate how to choose the pieces that make up a short term vacation, go about it at a time of no threat to either of the parties.
  • Bring it up at a time when there are no issues on the table that could escalate into further divisive argument.
  • When the deck is cleared for focusing on the objective, which is simply to allow each person to have a meditative and consoling period of being alone, then proceed to the particulars.

Time Apart Strengthens the Relationship

All of us get caught up in routine.  Frustration and aggravation can eat at the heart of a solid and happy relationship.

Going away for awhile can be a good way to refocus on other agendas, enjoy the company of other family members, take a holiday which emphasizes relaxation and lack of demand.

A healthy senior couple finds ways to stay that way.  Respite relief, from almost everything, is a wise strategy for contributing to clearing the air.

Agree to come back to your center, the core of your relationship, once the few days have passed.

Agree not to pick up on previous agendas.  Let this be the time for starting anew.

 



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