LINGERING LONELINESS

Apr 13th, 2013 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog

Loss of Elderly Parent

There aren’t words enough to reveal the feelings that come upon the death of a dear, sainted Mother. There aren’t emotions, poured out in tears and agony over the loss of the one who gave you life.  There aren’t sentiments eloquent enough to describe the lonely hurt that overtakes you, the sudden flood of tears, the amazing emptiness that overtakes you.

But as the popular song suggests neither is there any “mountain high enough, no valley low enough to keep me from you.”

In spite of the alienation caused by the suddenness of death, the deep and abiding loneliness, the sudden and abrupt separation, one must find ways to keep the loving memory going.

The first day was sheer agony, the second a day of depression and slight adjustment, the third a bit better, the fourth additional expected improvement.  But there will always be an ache, an empty hole, a depth of loss never before experienced.

Our little Dachshund, who spent day after day by Momma’s side, now is in a “funk” of his own.  He wanders the house, looking for her, trying to find her bed, stunned and saddened, in his own way, at her disappearance.

Consolation from Friends

There is a strange emptiness that pervades the house.  Even though, in the last days, one could hear her heavier breathing, there was, at least, that sound, that reminder that she was still with us, still “hanging on.”

The telephone rang a few minutes ago, a message from a dear friend offering consolation.  The messages are fewer today.  By Tuesday, the day of the farewells and Wednesday, the day of the burial next to my Dad, the offerings of sympathy will have started to subside.

A week from now, life will demand that we accept the new normal. There will still come that lump in the throat, that sudden sweeping feeling that she is gone.  And that, in spite of efforts to the contrary, will continue yet a while.  My 74 years have not known a day without being aware of her love and her influence on me.  It will be prompted now by the flood of memories that were her life’s gifts.

Saying farewell is impossible.  How do you say good bye to the one human being whose impression is what made you who you are and have become?



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