CREATING NEW SENIOR FRIENDSHIPSSep 4th, 2013 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog
Senior Citizen Friendships
Making new good friends enables seniors to maintain a healthy attitude about living. Moving offers the necessity to make new friends. To seek and find persons with whom solid and healthy relationships can be established enables settling in more comfortably and moving ahead becomes more easily done.
Putting off making friends is easy to do. Getting settled in usually becomes the priority. One move during our career offered the impetus for making new friends. A door was left ajar, thus permitting one of our dachshunds to escape. I didn’t realize then that that was the set up for making new friends. In the search for Zach, it was necessary to inquire if neighbors had noticed a wandering dog. We both found the dog and made new friends. On the very same day we were moving in our priority for making new friends had been pushed to the front. Thanks to our pet.
Later, however, the pets(we had two) would become the source of some consternation. There were those who didn’t care for their barking and friendly ways. That helped too. If people don’t particularly care for pets, you might as well know that about them early on.
Senior Friendship Qualifications:
That set me to thinking about what the qualifications of friendship are.
- Tolerance of one another’s opinions and beliefs.
- Acceptance of differences. The “I love you anyway” syndrome.
- Reminding each other, on occasion, of what I like about you.
- Giving and accepting feedback from one another without taking any offense.
- Enjoying learning about each others’ histories.
- Developing “inside” jokes, but not sharing them in the presence of others.
- Discovering what one another has in common.
- Respecting idiosyncrasies that are bound to show up.
- Allowing for possibility of excluding the other’s partner, if that seems appropriate now and again.
- If one or the other is single, recognizing how that impacts the relationship.
- Be not demanding of one another’s time.
- Accepting the condition that once in a while, no is the most appropriate response to an invitation.
These and other qualifiers for friendship will likely develop over the life of most friendships. One of the dynamics of friendship is accepting the shifting sands that come with it. Change of all kinds will affect the nature of a friendship and needs to be an accepted qualifier.
No friendship should be held hostage to behaviors of “hurt feelings” and taking unnecessary offense to situations that may enter your interactions. When that happens, it is likely that it is time to evaluate the friendship to determine its value for your senior life.