Cliches Just Don’t Get It–Happy Birthday, Dear

Jul 19th, 2010 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog

Today is my dear spouse’s birthday.  Reaching for the words to say something special, not said before, sincere, reaching deep into the soul and heart is something of a romantic challenge.  It is so, not because it has been done so many times before, but because, as in searching out a gift, you want it to be one of a kind, totally unique, lacking in redundancy.  Anniversaries are even more challenging.   The need to be creatively original runs strong.  You want the communication to say what you want it to say in words not frequently heard or read.  You want to plumb the absolute depth of romantic emotion.  You want the love message to whisper and then scream just how much and in what ways you count her as special, beyond comparison, no words can say it. 

She and I have shared a lot of years, numerous occasions, even have grown too routine in our special occasions.  But somehow, beyond the indifference that sometimes waves its flag before us, we are still here for each other, with each other and lastingly in love.  There are some things that have discouraged some of the zeal of romance.   It isn’t just aging.  It is biological, prompted by the break down of some of one’s physical abilities.  Beyond that, we know how much we care and how deep the caring goes.

Gazing at each other across a table, toasting a glass of wine, holding hands for a few brief moments, walking side by side and watching the other’s gait closely, mentioning for the 15th time in a day how much she is loved, holding one another before falling asleep, being reminded of how many reminders there are of our feelings felt and kisses shared. Love and romance and marriage are not idle experiences.   They are active.  They are verbs.  They remind us the energy required to stay in tune with one another.  They whisper to us that we need to act on how we feel, right then.  They urge us never to take for granted.  They insist that we be invested in the other.  They help us to reap the rewards and dividends in a well structured portfolio of genuinely valuable investments.  They remind us not to keep our feelings  hidden and locked in an impenetrable safe, but to open our hearts fully to share in spending foolishly and unselfishly on the other.    

No cliche, no idle comment, no brief hug but only the most deeply felt words, the most bearish embrace can really get at what it means to be married to the one who has helped make your life full and gloriously magnificent.  No number of candles on a cake can celebrate  or mark how glad you are to be with the one who has helped to build your being into who you are and the two of you have found in that building a place to abide in everlasting affection,  loyal respect and genuine regard for each other. 

With the love that only comes from a place that we know,

Jerry



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