CAREGIVERS AND THE LAST HOURSApr 8th, 2013 | By Dr Jerry D Elrod | Category: Senior Moments Blog
Caregivers Face Loss
For Caregivers, and Care Receivers who have chosen to die at home, the last hours can be a contradictory combination of relief and sadness. There is much to do. It begins to feel like preparing for a huge meeting in which greater details demand attention. It is also a test of one’s handling the growing fatigue that comes with sadness, depression and grief.
All of the time that has gone into expecting this hour, now collides in a series of making plans, settling all the necessary affairs, preparing one’s own spirit and disposition for what is soon to come.
Laying out the plans for a service, if there is to be one… contacting those who will want to know and may attend… working up the obituary, which hopefully has been done long before now, depending upon unique factors… taking care of all the incidentals that will be involved.
Dealing with sadness, the profound and overwhelming grief that may settle upon you will be a huge requirement. Some are more stoic, others are more expressive, still others are able to cope with grief in private. Identifying persons who will be available to help you in your own need for support will be important and immediate.
Finding Your Path
There is no right way to get through what is ahead. There is only your experience and need and crafting of some tailor made response to your history, background, experience and feelings.
No matter your strength and resolute spirit, you will find yourself vacillating between the pragmatics of the experience of death and the pain of separation and endings.
Whatever your situation and dynamics, finding both strength and will to abide getting through the shifting sands of your life, the loss of someone dear, the adjustment to life without them will take resolute and firmness to adapt to what now is a new reality.
The ability to be able to adapt will call on strength and determination you may not know you had. Your own sense of being able to walk through the morass of such an unwelcome moment will both enable and assist your witness to others. It can and must be done. Pain will pass. Goodness will prevail. Love will help. Strength will be generated. Your own presence for having done so much will be rewarded. Your life will go on.