Oct 4th, 2012 | By | Category: Senior Moments Blog

The Desert 20 Years Later

When we lived here in the 80’s and 90’s, we were employed and occupied by normal distractions of normal days.  I don’t think we were so aware of the mesmerizing sunrises and sunsets that stunningly repeated themselves day after day in the spectacular Sonoran Desert.

Now, in retirement and with a second chance at being more alert to our surroundings, it is clear why so many choose to make Arizona home.  The politics, like many places, leave a lot to be desired, but oh that landscape.

Now in our first week, we are still unpacking and reorganizing our lives around a simpler lifestyle, a reduced demand from many sides, and a new kind of living choice.  We brought my 92 year old Mother along with us. Her health is frail, at best, but she still takes on every day with an “I’m fine” spirit.  Our tasks include giving her all the attention she needs and deserves.

The Caretaking Priority

More and more of us, in retirement, are finding that beautiful mornings start out with caretaking. That’s only fair and appropriate.   Our parents, who 70 and more years ago cared for our day to day needs now require the attention of loving offspring who are prepared to be there for them.

There is, after all, no sacrifice too great to keep them comfortable and able to enjoy as much of life as the experiencing of 92 years or so now brings.  It is also a learning to be patient and gentle and very tender with the one who has been all those things to us throughout her life.  It is being conscious of the many memories and even the forgotten ones she tries to cling to.  It is recognizing that aging is one feature of life we will all find ourselves giving allegiance to and adapting our persons to deal with day after day.

The practical side is that no agenda is more important in our beautiful days of living out our own lives than giving comfort and solace to those we love and whose precious person we cherish. Whatever that takes is our first priority.  There is no need for frustration or anxiety or impatience. They deserve love that lets them know that now it’s our turn.

With an altered agenda and readjusted priorities, we now make Mom the center of our lives and the motivation of our energies.  It has a side reward.  Thinking about and doing for another is always a good way to feel better about yourself.  Lifting her gently into bed, making sure her basic needs are cared for, watching for the glint her eye that says over and again how much she is loving this time together is reward enough.

So, when the moment rolls around that you must choose to care for one of your family,  give no brook to hesitation.   Do it because it is the right and only thing to do.

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