End of Life Agendas and Salade Nicoise

Jun 13th, 2010 | By Jeannine Becker | Category: For Senior Women

As we were driving to the airport this morning, my sisters and I remembered other pieces of  Dad’s jewelry that hadn’t been given to my hospice sister for ‘safe keeping’.   One of my sisters said she thought that the gold chain was a gift to Dad from his wife, our step mother,  and perhaps she felt that it should be left in her possession.  And this could be true, but that raised an ‘agenda’ item for our sister’s next trip.

Our father married our step mother over 25 years ago, after our mother had died.  Over the years they’ve given each other gifts and we had made the assumption that the gifts that Dad had given to his wife were her’s also assuming that those gifts she gave him belonged to him.  However, when some of the jewelry she had given to him were not brought out with other of his jewelry, this assumption took another turn.

What we are becoming clearer about is that with second marriages there are different considerations that need clarification when ‘end of life’ issues are being discussed.  One of these issues is the handling of ‘gifts’ given to each other.  Another of these issues that my hospice-expert sister has already discussed with Dad and his wife was the question of who will pay for each of their funeral expenses.  It turns out that our mother’s estate will pay for her’s and our father’s estate will pay for his.  There is no right or wrong here… it was a matter of clarifying this so that at the time of death, the question was previously settled and agreed upon.  This is the process that will be used with the handling of the jewelry gifts as well.

Agendas…as long as the questions continue to arise, discussions will continue to take place.

One of the agenda items on my recipe sharing plate is the Salade Niçoise which we served to our father and mother and visiting sister yesterday.  It is worth sharing with you.  It comes from southern France in the Province region and is a most glorious main dish summer salad.  It was a huge hit with our family!

Salade Niçoise

for 4 people

  • Red potatoes, scrubbed and boiled…as many as you would use in a salad
  • Fresh green beans lightly steamed…a nice amount
  • Sweet onion or red onion, chopped or sliced not finely
  • Black olives…one can drained (or those good ones from the deli counter!)
  • Tuna…fresh grilled, or canned
  • 4 Roma tomatoes quartered
  • 4 Boiled eggs quartered
  • Dressing:  6 Tbsp olive oil,  2 Tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice or balsamic vinegar,  1 large clove garlic squeezed, salt and pepper to taste

Mix quartered potatoes,  green beans, chopped onions and olives together with most of the dressing, reserving a small amount of dressing. Place this mixture in the middle of a large serving platter, arrange the tuna over the top, and the tomatoes and egg quarters around the edge.  Drizzle the remainder of the dressing over the tomatoes, eggs and tuna.  Smile at your master piece and serve it to your favorite people.



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