Caregiving for elderly loved ones carries some inherent understandings of how day-to-day activity is managed. For the most part, decisions and choices that affect the life of the elder needs to remain in her/his hands. For the most part… so what are the exceptions?

Based on our six-month experience, these are some guidelines that make sense:

Decisions about simple things like what the elder is going to wear are left up to her/him… except… except when she wants to put on a long flowing skirt that now comes to the floor and would likely get entangled in her legs and cause her to fall. Mother was still mobile the first three or four months

Toxic chemicals have no place in the homes of senior citizens. We rely on public information to tell us when a product has ingredients that are harmful. And sometimes that information is clouded by special interests of companies that want us to buy their products in spite of the poison in them. So we have to perform due diligence and find the best information available before we decide what to purchase.

Following are some resources SCJ found that other seniors might find helpful:

Triclosan: This chemical has long been found in cosmetics and soap used on the body (including shampoo). The Suzuki Foundation has labeled it toxic for years. Triclosan has been in the news

Someone recently said to me, “I do not want to die with any regrets.” My life-long statement to self has been, “I want to be proud of what I do and say.” This was certainly true of the six months we spent caregiving. Did I live up to that totally? No. Did I get close? Yes. I learned that, because there is life after caregiving, I needed to conduct myself so I would not end up with regrets.

By far the most difficult situations we encountered caregiving for my mother-in-law centered around her safety. Momma never got her fair share of common sense and good judgment in life. Health care professionals, particularly in rehab after she broke her hip for the third time, consistently identified her lack of judgment as a major problem in her rehabilitation. So we came to her last days still trying to manage her safety in the face of her poor judgment.

If you are the last of your family, as all the other significant members have passed on, an empty hole, hard, if not impossible, to fill, seems to characterize your emotional state. At 74, and an only child, losing my parents has meant that that mysterious connectedness which has been with me all my life is now in the past. You are now quite alone. Although you likely have created other significant alliances that have helped you get through life, those most intimate and emotionally significant to you are now gone.

Those who have enjoyed and celebrated having siblings or geographically close relatives of one ilk or another have the memorable joy of some important unions. Some find the fraternity of long time friends to be helpful in cementing significant relationships. There is, for most of us, the need to

One of the benefits of being a senior citizen these days is the joy of admitting we have a lot yet to learn. We don’t have to prove ourselves any longer. We can just be ourselves, open to learning whatever new behaviors and insights happen to come along our way.

Such is the case with our most recent caregiving experience. It was actually the first time we had taken on the responsibility of care for another human being. I had always insisted I wasn’t a nurse and didn’t want to be one. But when faced with the choice of caring for my 93 year old mother-in-law in our home, I didn’t hesitate. She had been a loving and caring person all her life; it was time for that love and care to be returned to her in her last days.

Every time a new concept surfaces on the national scene, there is a flurry of articles about it on the Internet. Some of what is written is obviously biased toward one political camp or another. Such is the case with the chained CPI. We thought trying to take a look at it as objectively as possible might be helpful.

First, the chained CPI is part of President Obama’s 2014 budget plan as it relates to Social Security.

Second, a number of government programs (like Social Security) calculate benefits based on the rate of inflation. Inflation is a measure of changes in the cost of living, which typically increases to one degree or another annually. There are different formula used for calculating changes in the cost of

Jerry has been writing the past couple of weeks about death and dying, loss of loved ones and the importance of family and friends when one is in grief. His mother, Hazel, died Thursday, April 11, 2013. She lived in our home these past six months, with Jerry and Sharon being the primary caregivers. Hospice accepted Hazel in to their tender and competent care in late October, 2012.

More than a year ago, Hazel requested that we take her into our home when we knew death was approaching. She wanted to be cared for by Hospice and us, and she wanted to die in our home. Our agreement was an easy one because we participated in caring for Sharon’s mother 30 years ago, and

There aren’t words enough to reveal the feelings that come upon the death of a dear, sainted Mother. There aren’t emotions, poured out in tears and agony over the loss of the one who gave you life. There aren’t sentiments eloquent enough to describe the lonely hurt that overtakes you, the sudden flood of tears, the amazing emptiness that overtakes you.

But as the popular song suggests neither is there any “mountain high enough, no valley low enough to keep me from you.”

In spite of the alienation caused by the suddenness of death, the deep and abiding loneliness, the sudden and abrupt separation, one must find ways to keep the loving memory going.

In the midst of the pain of grief and loss, senior citizens grope around for help and relief. A suggestion for a new app. When life’s inevitable and painful experiences strike, would it not be well to have an application that applies the balm needed to cure the hurt and dissolve the pain?

With so many injuries that seem ready to strike us, when we are already in the midst of pain and hurt, wouldn’t it be useful to have a ready means for relief? Of course, if you believe the ads, it is already there is one form, salve, ointment, precious oil or another. And, we discover most of them don’t work.

Oh, how great it would be to be allowed do overs. How marvelous it would be if we could just put the back space on and redo the last thing we said or did, the one thing we wish we had never suggested or tried. How pleasant it would be for all our report cards in life, for those to be pitched and only the remarkable acts, the wild successes, the incredibly rewarding behaviors offered a chance to do it again.

If only do overs were allowed. But somehow in the great scheme of things that is not allowed or offered, not even a consideration, not a chance.

And so we are stuck with having to work out our mistakes, erase, if only we can, those behaviors