The night had passed well and I awoke at the usual morning hour, around 5:30. While drowsy, fading in and out, being aware of invasive thoughts and recollections of a full yesterday, there was something more going on. The doctor had prescribed a prescription which might have had something to do with it. Whatever it was, there came with it thoughts and disturbances, not altogether welcome. Enough physical discomfort of late has helped prompt an unusual awareness of mortality. Over recent holidays, there were several deaths of friends and family. That always brings home the recognition that you are at the station, waiting for your own train to arrive.

Finally, daylight crept in through the windows and with it, other agendas and ideas having to do with the coming day. That which was caught up in capturing me in its net, began to loosen and free me to go on living and planning another day.

Once in awhile, those early morning wake up calls have a way of nudging us. They give us reason to think about our health, our struggles,

One might think that friendships, accumulated over the years, would finally spend themselves into oblivion. That, however, is not the way friendship works. Friendship is like earning credits, and every time you encounter someone you haven’t seen in a very long time, you end up spending some of those earned credits. You cash in some of the value of that friendship, even though you haven’t drawn upon it in a very long time.

Meet someone on the street, in a store, at an event, that you haven’t seen in a long time. Immediately, your memory bank clicks in for a a name, a memory of recent encounter, a favorite story that helps identify that person. A handshake, an embrace, some quickly chosen words, appropriate to the reunion and all of a sudden the earned credit of years past, experiences enjoyed, moments remembered are made real and brought to life again. You earned that relationship and each of you holds something special about it that helps create the

Aging brings with it realization. Realization is an awakening. An awakening helps us to sort out just who we are as we count down the years. Defining who we are means that we can look at ourselves, inwardly and outwardly, to determine if we draw satisfaction with that person we call I or me.

Among the important issues that bear scrutiny are these few. Numerous others obviously emerge and tempt our recognition. A lot of them certainly are worthy of more than a scant evaluation. .

Choosing to allow integrity to have more sway in my life than lack of it.

Last evening, during the Super Bowl, no matter what, it was clear that we we were all in this together. Our son in law, in Scottsdale, had to be in heaven, some of his favorite teams were on the venue. He had played professionally with the Indianapolis Colts. With the game in Indianapolis, that was close enough to resurrect all kinds of nostalgia.

A few miles from us a Super Bowl party was in great form. We are ordinarily a part of the group and the gumbo and the laughter over the commercials. That has been a tradition for some years now.

We thought of other family members and friends, at far distance, who were absorbed by the game and its well rehearsed entertainment. There weren’t many distractions to keep us from kicking back and enjoying the annual festivity. We were, no matter where we were, all in

In Harper Lee’s novel, “To Kill a Mockingbird”, Atticus, wise and generous man tells his son, Jem, about an old woman who is dying of cancer.

Her name is Mrs. Dubose. She has been a bitter critic of Atticus for his insistence on equal rights for blacks in that small southern town. So Jem hates the old woman for criticizing his father. But Atticus wants his son to see the greatness in this cantankerous old woman.

For years she has taken morphine, at her doctor’s orders, to ease her pain; eventually she became a morphine addict. As it became clear that her days were numbered, she was determined to end her addiction before she died so that she would die beholden to nothing, to nobody.

Some senior friends recently engaged in a lively discussion about who family members ‘really’ are in this age of multiple divorces, family dis-unity and international living with boundaries being more and more blurred. At the end of the day, there was no agreement about what constitutes a family, who is ‘really’ a family member and who are interlopers.

For purposes of illustration, let me tell you about my family. Jerry and I have been married 37 years plus. Were we members of each others biological families before we were married? And then Jerry’s son from his first marriage lived with us following our marriage, so technically he is my step-son. Is a step-child a member of the step-parent’s biological family? Jerry and I raised him. Does that make any difference? My daughter, relinquished at birth to adoptive parents, is technically Jerry’s step-daughter. Is she a member of his biological family? We didn’t reunite until she was 35 years old. I signed a paper that gave up all ‘rights’ to her. Is she

Recalling fond memories of experiences with loved ones helps keep them close when we are separated by distance, or by death. My dad died five weeks ago. We are now separated by death. But the memories of good times together help keep him close to me.

I haven’t seen my amazing granddaughter for several weeks… rather unusual for us, since we like to hang out together whenever possible. We text a lot, and comment on each others FaceBook page often. And the memories of incredibly sweet times with her help keep her close to me.

I had experiences with each of these loved ones that bear sharing with the world. In the last few days of Dad’s life, a hospice

Turning over the authority of your body and mind, post 70, to the enemies who invade us, amounts to waging a very intentional battle. There is no way to escape the full complement of weaknesses to which we may be prone. There is a way to hold some of them at bay.

Let’s investigate the latter: Aging is a very predictable process which will find its subtle and not so subtle ways of reducing our abilities and discouraging our strength and stamina. The first lesson is not to give in. Often, following on a major surgery or other illness, our bodies seem to want to “give up.” The easy chair becomes more and more desirable. Exercise is less and less appealing. Both of these enemies are certain to prevail, if we let them.

The other day I introduced an older gentleman and his lovely wife, who were just one table over from us in a local restaurant, to Senior Citizen Journal. His appropriate question was: “Well, what approach do you take?”

While I might have been taken aback, I was quickly aware I was dealing with a very astute contemporary senior observer. Everybody is somewhat suspicious these days. And everybody is met so often with some self serving agenda, that such a question is quite appropriate and well deserved.

Before all your resources are spent, you may want to identify a means for evaluating what intentional desires you have for your estate upon your death. Making decisions about your estate is an early on decision which prevents heartache and disappointment later.

For those who have structured their lives to take into account the consequences of choices, this will be less a challenge than for those who have lived day to day. Resources must be tended to, like a garden. If those resources are to provide sufficient income for yourself and, if you desire to be in a position to gift others, then intentionality will be a major influence.

Upon retirement, there are several practical and flexible issues that need to be taken into account. Having made out an estate plan in